I think I kinda hit a slight conflict in the midst of episode 1, and I am rather confused for now- I don't think it's major, but definitely I need a second opinion asap.
This story was meant to be lighthearted. That was the deal- to write a simple and heartwarming story, and make it accessible to the general public. I advocate this stand- since I partially don't want to repeat the themes of tension, poignancy and melancholy as of the Kimmie World. Moreover, I am currently following a light-hearted slice-of-life series titled K-ON! (Keion). The premise is rather similar: five girls in a school setting; I would gladly adapt this theme into a Singaporean context and highlight some simple yet meaningful themes of adolescent life from within.
On the other hand, there is this much much more complex.... bordering insane desire within me to bridge my realism-idealism gap, primarily by manifesting the entirety of the RN domain into the story itself. Evidently, all hell would break loose should I bridge this gap, since a lot of these thoughts are invasive, nightmarish, psychedelic, and even cult-like. This desire is only fueled by the appearance of Rach-Nat in the story: she is the embodiment of this dis-union, and she is not going to be a space marine anytime soon.
So how am I supposed to advance this story? The delicate balance between subtly implied themes and a lighthearted story is really a big trouble for me. Since the more I try to move away from the moe themes I try to get more realistic, and as I get more realistic I get more idealistic in my thinking. On the other hand, the less realistic I get, the higher tendency for me to disregard idealism for good and move towards pure eye-candy and fun. Of course, homogeneous moderation could be achieved, but what I fear is that the story might end up neither here or there, meaning that the themes are not picked up, and the story slightly too realistic to retain it's charm.
The last standing option is to really split this story down into two and proceed with a very simple narration, as well as a very complex interpretation simultaneously. I have experimented with that, with Sarah's depiction and Rach-Nat's depiction, and the segments worked out perfectly. Moreover, the great discrepancy between realism and idealism is established, a key factor I could previously not portray with words alone. I had a couple beta readers on the ball- they are all freaked out by Rach's segments. Evidently, the discrepancy is too large, even to speculate as a reader with all the underlying intentions made clear to them.
What's left to question now is this: do I want to further tone down the themes of this story? Or should I leave it and proceed with another documentary that would probably win the favor of none? On hindsight I would want to tone down the entire system, I would want to establish character repertoire (make them cute). A simple moral at the end of the episode is enough to keep me happy, but is that what I truly desire- to remake another K-ON! series? (by the way they have little moral of the stories at the end of some of their episodes- its heartening to know that, but much as I respect the series I do not wish to imitate it).
A few questions then- What would be the defining traits of this story? Would it be characters or themes? Would it be plot, or style? Would it be a consistent tonality (a sure win), or a very radical story with different narration styles accompanying different characters (and try to see irreconcilably not as a weakness, but a strength)?
I don't want to make these decision myself anymore- given myself, I'll probably end up writing two different stories at the end of the day. Sell out the marketable one, and reserve the censored one as fine-arts or something. I could go both ways, or I could go neither ways. I'd rather just follow the instructions of others, hopefully with a little discernment along the way.
Well, if there is anyone on this domain who wishes to be a beta reader, just leave me a personal message on my IM, I'll link you to the online copy (with footnotes). All comments are appreciated, because I really need them. Till then, I guess I'll mull a little more- I've still got 14 days, and I don't want to rush things just yet.
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