This programme actually works on sunfire.........

/**
* Initializing Sth Deranged
* Subdivision The Deranged World , sub-subdivision Jesse's Crazy Ideas
*
* Test.c
*
*
*
*
*/

#include (math.h)
#include (stdio.h)

int main(void)
{

    /*Declare and initialize variables*/
    char user;
    int admist;
    int day, month, year;
   
    /*Acquiring basic information from user*/
    printf("Welcome to The Deranged World, please verify identity\n");
    printf("Please type G (Guest) or A (Admin) after the semicolen:");
    scanf("%c", &user);

    /*Applying conditions to identity*/
   
 
    if (user == 71)
        printf("Hello Guest!\n");

    else if (user == 65)
      { 
        printf("Hello Admin! Choose you entry personality\n");
        printf("Please type 1 (Jesse =P) or 2 (Rach-Nat =S) after the semicolen:");
        scanf("%d", &admist);
      }

    else
        printf("Err.... type only A or G, bobo!\n");

         /*Applying conditions to determine Admin*/
      
          if (admist == 1)
            {
              printf("Please authenticate, Jesse\n");
              printf("What is Jesse's ORD day? (DD MM YY):");
              scanf("%d %d %d", &day, &month, &year);
              
                 if ((day==15)&&(month==03)&&(year==9))
                 printf("Successful autentification, welcome back Jesse!\n");
                
                 else
                 printf("Eh.... you're not Jesse. Bye Bye imposter\n");
            }
                       
          if (admist == 2)
             {
               printf("Please authenticate, Rachael\n");
               printf("What is your date of actualization? (DD MM YY):");
               scanf("%d %d %d", &day, &month, &year);
                                 
                  if ((day==21)&&(month==12)&&(year==9))
                  printf("Successful autentification, welcome back Rachael!\n");
                 
                  else
                  printf("If you can't even fake a fake identity, TSK!!!!\n");   
             }
                        
 
       
    

  
  /*Exit program*/

  return 0;
}

/*Ten Thouand LOLs*/

Print Screen

Click to enlarge =)

Resolve

I was looking back at some of those older posts on this domain. Apart from the really random posts (those which totally don't make sense at all), most of my posts do reflect my sentiments at that point in time. Be it the insightful ones that sometimes sound a tad too informative for my liking, or those emotional posts that seem to express everything but information all these posts stem from a united source. Me.

Throughout these 2 years I just witnessed myself fall, rise, and fall over again. It is interesting that my complains of the lack of re-affirmation date back to February 2009, barely 40 days from all the initial conceptualization! Then and again I must remind myself that I had started this little project because of my need for re-affirmation.

Okay, so the story is pretty much set- if left alone, the world has no love for Jesse. (LOL!)

We could of course, go down the path of self-pitying about the lack of love in this world- we could howl and cry and break ourselves down into a myriad of emotions. But I guess that while that still tells us that we are human's seeking for a better life (and not some deranged philosopher thinking about life just because he's being paid by the hour), all this sorrow cannot be overtly emphasized. 

Surely it is time for us to start saying "hi" if everybody around us is looking at each other and hoping that someone else would make the first move? I don't know whats stopping them: maybe they are feeling exactly like us- sad and lonely, yet hoping that this world have some love to offer before the day goes out. But naturally, as people with a decent heart and soul and love as guiding principle, shouldn't it be about time we stop waiting for miracles to happen and start being that miracle instead?

Of course, the fall-back is probably spiritual exhaustion; after facing a world of disappointment we retreat back howling and crying again. But take heart friends, that is when the true fun of being a friend and helping each other actually begins:

No more mundane questions like: how's the weather or hey gorgeous or I hate N. , or worse: a wall of silence. No more wrong conceptualizations like: I don't think Jesse would want to listen to what I want to say, or I am alone battling the demons of life, or worse: everybody has their own problems, we should not impose ourselves at all... lest we be imposed upon in the future.

I don't really bother about the traffic to this blog. With or without readers, I have been posting posts dutifully for the past 3 years ever since I found out the value of sharing and identity affirmation. Do stop and take some time out from the hassles of life- Through the past 110 odd posts we have seen this battle of silence and indifference unfold upon words. This battle is not unfamiliar, I guess; so I would appeal to anyone reading this- to never stop to express concern and kindness to people in need- not only the poor and the bedraggled, but also to those living in silence, indifference and isolation.

The moral of the story? It is okay if you cannot repay the kindness to the person who initially helped you, but just as long as you continue this legacy by being kind in turn to others in your own way- this is more than enough as repayment to the person already. We are after all not here on our own greatness and authority, but together in love and goodness.

This post is not an appeal from Jesse. Its not another of his crazy ideas again (he is not crazy mind you); rather, view it as one of the appeals of our religion (whatever it may be, I am not interested in the differences) to enact compassion, kindness, concern and ultimately love to our fellow brothers and sisters. While I understand that this post may just be another post that would be stacked upon, unread; nevertheless let it at least be known that the true intuition that accompanies this post resides within me- a conviction, for a better tomorrow.

 

Reconstruction

I am tired of being deranged. From now on I'll strive towards the ideals of my religion and love.

I don't deny it; I have been doing a lot of soul searching. Somehow during these two years I have been misunderstood over and over again, put down many more times as insanity, or totally disregarded as a subjective opinion not worthy of consideration. I cried many times, threatened to give up even more, and done a hell lot of crazy things along the way.

I tried taking revenge, forcing my articles to a point of un-readability: Since nobody wants to understand me, might as well make them never understand me....

Such actions are indeed wrong, I guess taking revenge was understandable for my loneliness these two years, but it was nevertheless unacceptable. The whole story I was going to share was a story about love and life and sharing, how could I make it exclusive to myself then? Jesus never stopped loving even though he was hated, so why should I, in my mission a hundred times lesser than his, hate them back?

I do not ask for conversion, I am human, I have a soul, and I too am seeking for a better life where someone would read this and comfort me back when I feel down. Like any normal person, love and re-affirmation is what I need to survive in this world. Maybe I have a little entailment of logic that sticks out like a sore thumb (since it's still not polished by a second opinion), but who cares? The heart of this logic is goodness. I never wanted to play God in the first place anyway.

Yes, from now I'll live with this soreness- this thumb belongs to me, and through thick and thin I'll suck-thumb and pull through.(LOL!) I cannot do much to change the people I meet in life, or denote who is for me... so I guess I'll leave that part up to God and his divine plans.

In the meantime I strive to be truthful, to present my full nature to whoever I meet in life- of course with the intention of goodness and love. And to be a balanced person in my thoughts and feelings.

This world needs love- I am in union with myself now- I get the drift.

Till then, lets rock baby.... boogya!

Negotiating godship with God Himself

This is not some Harry Potter fanscript on horcruxes.... I am discussing about the actual splitting of the soul, the psyche and the body as a form of self-manifestation creation. This post is very unorthodoxical, but it reminds us very sharply who we are as humans- I assure readers not to worry about my current state of mind; I have discussed this with higher authorities, the air is cleared, and my thoughts are in line with what is supposed to be (I guess...)

The method is as such: Split the psyche to create two individual identities via the revocation of the theory of truth (think binary fission), then using the theory of goodness to arbitrarily convict soulful meaning into both subsets (this can be done with personal conviction from the parent). Finally embody their states of being with the theory of beauty to two individuals (you may embody them with the natural or artificial template)...

Is this even possible? Theoretically yes- only if all three stages are done with infinite precision- any being with a truthful construct, a meaning, and a certain state of being is valid. Insofar, there is only one successful form of such creation ever- i.e. the manifestation of the Holy Trinity; A very much lesser experiment was conducted, the result was catastrophic (personally), and its NOT worth glorifying. Remind me why not again:

Presented below are an excerpt of thoughts: D+30 minutes into the experiment proper:


Splitting the psyche is a very painful and laborious process
 ... to create two seperate opinions from a balanced viewpoint.... I had to constantly remind myself to denounce my other self as I went on-

If the soul was the seat of integration, converging all domains of the self to a singular meaning or being; such a process then was the direct antithesis of it's purpose. 

My very own self was imperfect as it is, yet splitting myself resulted in two lesser personas even less perfect than before. 

two (pseudo) domains of living caused very great confusion on which domain was indeed the 'truer' domain.

Although I cannot possibly be <>, her thoughts, actions and feelings were after all instituted by me, making her essentially me.

Perhaps it is very true that humans are not allowed, although they have the potential, to cross such boundaries of self-manifestation creation (i.e. creating subsets from the homogenous split of the self). 

We were after all made to unite, and not be gods ourselves.






Takeaways:


The products of the split can never be fully human, since the parent is imperfect
-it takes infinite knowledge (a higher order) to be able to self-manifest two entities without losing qualia to either the parent of daughter entity


- The higher domains of humanity seek to push the boundaries between the allowed human creation. This topic is very volatile, since a difference in conviction can mean an extremity of understanding true goodness and playing God.

- While we are in a process (live in) a negotiation between what we can do, and what we ought not to, we have to still impose this higher knowledge that we did not come forth to be gods to govern this natural world.

On a theological note: Don't let the phrase: All men are created in the image of God, qualify any attempts for us to act like Gods. Such is this pride of being gods that being about the downfall of humanity.


You have been warned!

I don't want a book of faces as a trophy.

Well, after some contemplation, it is decided that I shall stop haunting facebook as part of my routine from now.

I started that account on the 29th Feburary 2008 along with friendster. The main goal then was to know more people- to widen my social circle and to anticipate a better life beyond that land of sorrows. University's cool, university's promising, universitiy is where I want to be.... those were the thoughts that had persisted then- get 100 facebook contacts in one year and thereforth. Whats the moral of the story? the more the merrier.

It was cool to see the list grow. I remember posting a post (up here) then about me having 14 contacts and other people having 149 faces on their book (LOL). I wasn't too bothered with the inclusion of everybody I knew before so I just let the number grow naturally. I added some and others added me- it was great ( I still don't deny this), and so it went.

What changed? The facebook applications came and went- the games were cute and neverending, so after a while I decided that it was quite pointless breaking my own highscore. I went online frequently, reserving it as one of my tabs even when i am in school, and saw nothing but a constant update of status among people. "John was tagged in another album (again...) and Sally needs your help in slaying the level 94 cerebus (That shy girl is a monster killer?!) and Tom's invities you to take the love at first sight test (omg wth you doing Tom?!) and Jane's just beaten her own highscore of 250000 in bejeweled blitz (Honey, okay you win....).

Well these status were a little annoying I guess, there was the more meaningful status and comment section where people can discuss thoughts of the day and show some concern, but I guess not much people wanted to get cracking up there. So for much of the day, it was probably refreshing pages every other hour (and it takes forever to load sometimes) and seeing more quirky statuses. The whole idea was pretty much like a observe and exhibit show. Everybody congregated to merely exhibit their activities, or watch people exhibit themselves.

Yeah, like cart-wheeling point, or flirting point, or philo point, or no point.

So comes in the homework, and bleagh..... so comes in the the question of the point in this point: why do we really go up to facebook for?  Well, it would be really cool to say: to genuinely contact with people, which you know won't have time to sit down and have a nice long conversation but nevertheless still want to keep in touch with. But well there are always other ways to circumvent having to sieve through a monstrousity of ads and statuses for such gems (and there is always offline messaging which is private, so you don't have to shout: oh my darling I havent seen you for ages!). Otherwise, the reason to carry on is pretty dodgy.

No, Jesse is not getting antisocial- he is not falling back to the quiet and quirky ways, and there is NO deranged theory that compels him to quit facebook and mantain it that way for good (so I guess I'll still log on intermittenly for more personal activities like catching up and stuff). But I guess i'll can finally say goodbye to this onslaught of meaningless statuses and updates (which I had pretty much put as primary)- and the boredom of going online knowing that little would be done by evening when I get offline. And goodbye to people whom we have added for the sake of adding (probably as exhibitionism), and to that dangerous notion of hey, I add you on facebook ar? and subsequently treating a newly acquainted human being as no more than another face in a book.

Yes- I don't want a book of faces as a trophy, or a exhibit my book of trophies to faces, of face myself to no more than a book of trophies 24-7.

Cheers to the improvement in quality of relationship between individuals. I'll see you guys on msn messenger, or on this domain (more frequently now- it replaced the tab for facebook); otherwise- enjoy valentines day, enjoy chinese new year, and do re-affirm your romantic love for Bah Kwa eh?