Fire and Brimestone.
I have to finally admit that I am, for once, out of tricks.
Tomorrow will see to a new onslaught of academics way beyond my grasp. Not in terms of content depth, but more in the sheer breadth and scope.
I see six modules blaring in my face when I enter the Integrated Virtual Learning Environment.
I see numerous notes, far more than the total amount put together in special term, that I would have to sort through the first two lectures of the term.
I see a single person - trying to mantain the optimism, trying to make a stand against all adversity; in an idealistic hope to see the greater beauty beyond this sea of mundanity and pain.
The double major goal, the choice of engineering, that one personal aspiration to bring about the final moderation, and that one onto union...
What if I should fail?
Like I had last time four and the half years ago?
I saw them fall- one after another, into a life of denial.
An escapism from the pain of a sub-reality into a world more warped than before.
Light that burns itself out into darkness. All for that temporal goal of painless denial.
A repressor, an addict, a fool.
Yes, I am harsh today- for I am biased against what I saw.
But there is an equal chance for me to sink within, beneath this sheer weight of prospects, to a form of denial- though different in method, yet similar in essence.
A forfeit of my aspirations.
A mindless wallow in self regret and worthlessness
A delusion of grandeur and nothingness, all in attempt to run away.
Be it in form of games, ford, fun or alcohol.
I cannot back down.
Yes, there is a limit in ourselves, but remember there is also a capability within.
To stand up, to circumvent, and to prevail.
Yes. There is always a way out.
Goodness and Truth admist the greyness of life.
To take it one day at a time, and never to lose sight as before.
For today is the 7th Age- and there will be no more waiting.
No more bumming around waiting for a better tomorrow.
Indeed, remember-
This very day:
Yesterday was a lesson, tomorrow is a challange.
Today, is a re-affirmation.
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