Do we like stories that have great plots within? Do we appreciate them only if there is enough drama, action and suspense to keep us reading on? Most of the stories and movies today use this formula so that we may read/watch them. These stories usually become blockbuster films and drama serials and very exciting novellas; we all love these kind of stories.
Or will some prefer a thinking story instead? One that in all its nuances will provide a philosophical twist to the entire narration and evokes a multitude of interpretations from the reader. Drama and suspense would be compromised for a much more subtle form of narration that focuses more on thoughts, characterization and style- and yes, the story would look boring.
Think of Harry Potter and Edmund Hooper. Both of them were fictional characters created by distinguished British writers. Who would we love at first sight? Who would we grow to love more at the end of the day? Who became famous? Which of the two made it's way into the GCSEs as a Literature text to study?
I have been contemplating about this issue for quite some time already. judging by some preliminary reviews by beta readers, it's already quite evident that my own story does not tend to one of great drama and suspense in version 3 as much as it had in version 2. I do not dare to say that I am currently writing a philosophy orientated thinking-story, but somehow feedback has shown that it tends more to those lines. Some people liked version 3 more than version 2, and yet some felt that version 3 was actually a deprovement from its predecessor. Both are right, it ultimately boils down to those two fundamental points I had mentioned earlier on what do we like in a story.
When PW2NMV3.0 is completed, it would assume two different sub-versions altogether. They would be v3.14 and v3.42 respectively. v3.14 would be generally unabridged from today's draft and would remain as such a story. v3.42 however, would be re-edited to be a contemporary narrative story with all it's action and drama as how it had been in version 2.0. I will not know which of the two would be better at the end of the day- but either way, I assure you we would all still be able to sit back and enjoy the story at the end of the day.
Below is an excerpt of one of the parenthesis within the story. It is all written as a flashback/ current thought and Ian is supposed to be doing all these thinking. I had passed this excerpt to three people within my bunk over the past 2 weeks, and only one person truly understood it. I am not asking you people here to try to understand or like it, but this is how v3.14 would generally be then.
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Excerpt from Parenthesis 2- Page 3 out of 5 pages in total.
Please do not reproduce this excerpt without prior permission.
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“What are we going to do, Ian?”
What are we going to do, Ian?
What are we to do now, Kimmie? What are you going to do? What am I going to do myself? What can we possibly do right here right now? Yes, it’s very obvious what can be done, right? It wouldn’t take more than a primary school child who watches television to tell you the easiest way out… But must we truly resort to that? We scoff that in television and chorused the word ‘sin’ back in catechism class whenever that word surfaces, don’t we?
I mean… its wrong, right? What if this decision is to be another wrong decision in your eyes again? I don’t want to sin again anymore… Truthfully speaking, I don’t even wish this to happen… Then if it’s wrong, what are we to do then? Do we really have to let nature take its course? Yes, it had always sounded righteous then and simple, but how are we actually going to manage the going-in-betweens?
“Kimmie… are you still there?”
“uh…”
“Don’t worry… okay? I’ll think of something a-sooner…”
“Ian…”
“Please don’t do the thing they usually do in television, okay? We’ll work this out together… I’ll get more information from the library…”
“But Ian…”
“I got two hundred dollars- I can get a job after the O levels, we can…”
“Stop it Ian-“
“Hur?”
“It isn’t those things that matters the most now- okay?”
“W…What do you mean, Kimmie?”
“I mean… the starting is already bad enough, Ian- How are we even going to start telling Mum?”
How?
Yes God; I believe in you- and I know that you’ll never do anything without a higher reason- But please once more… can we just say no? The future looks very scary right now, God- Do we really have to live on like this forever? A never ceasing punishment to our past mistakes; away from your presence and guidance?
And they left the garden of Eden and out of the presence of God…
And if I were to walk in the valley of darkness
No evil would I fear
For your crook and your staff would lead the way…
Please don’t leave us in this state, God… and hope we make the right choice again… Please don’t make us move out from your presence… once is enough already.
What are we going to do, Ian?
What are we to do now, Kimmie? What are you going to do? What am I going to do myself? What can we possibly do right here right now? Yes, it’s very obvious what can be done, right? It wouldn’t take more than a primary school child who watches television to tell you the easiest way out… But must we truly resort to that? We scoff that in television and chorused the word ‘sin’ back in catechism class whenever that word surfaces, don’t we?
I mean… its wrong, right? What if this decision is to be another wrong decision in your eyes again? I don’t want to sin again anymore… Truthfully speaking, I don’t even wish this to happen… Then if it’s wrong, what are we to do then? Do we really have to let nature take its course? Yes, it had always sounded righteous then and simple, but how are we actually going to manage the going-in-betweens?
“Kimmie… are you still there?”
“uh…”
“Don’t worry… okay? I’ll think of something a-sooner…”
“Ian…”
“Please don’t do the thing they usually do in television, okay? We’ll work this out together… I’ll get more information from the library…”
“But Ian…”
“I got two hundred dollars- I can get a job after the O levels, we can…”
“Stop it Ian-“
“Hur?”
“It isn’t those things that matters the most now- okay?”
“W…What do you mean, Kimmie?”
“I mean… the starting is already bad enough, Ian- How are we even going to start telling Mum?”
How?
Yes God; I believe in you- and I know that you’ll never do anything without a higher reason- But please once more… can we just say no? The future looks very scary right now, God- Do we really have to live on like this forever? A never ceasing punishment to our past mistakes; away from your presence and guidance?
And they left the garden of Eden and out of the presence of God…
And if I were to walk in the valley of darkness
No evil would I fear
For your crook and your staff would lead the way…
Please don’t leave us in this state, God… and hope we make the right choice again… Please don’t make us move out from your presence… once is enough already.
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