I guess some of us would have already know by now- I would not be spending my 21st in Singapore.
I do not take this as an opportunity to brag- Indeed, I am going to spend christmas in Tokyo this year, but the primary reason for this move was actually more as a form of personal 'retreat' and 'recollection'. I would be attempting to tie up a couple of loose strings over the few days, and hopefully return with some answers.
I do not know whether it is would be wise to harp on such issues. I have currently attenuated all efforts into this domain of enquiry, partially out of the more pressing issue of examinations, and partially because I do not wish to end up falling 'into the trap of imbalance by harping too much on the ideals of balance'. I truly appreciate the life that I am currently leading, and I am equally pragmatic on the 'real' aspects of my individuality.
But as I have iterated, I will not give up one lifestyle over the other. As much as this life of tangible domains belongs to me, I see no reason why should I hide my concerns and developments in the idealistic domain. They are not taboo, and they are neither to be excessively glorified. Rather, they are all part of me- that one integrated unified me.
I also understand that from here on I would not be attempting to push ideals unto others. I have grew to appreciate the fact that my mentors have cautioned me to- that such ideals might be dangerous. They are dangerous not because they may be wrong; rather it is because these ideals are a 'double edged sword'. It would bring greater improvement and affirmation to the like minded, the good and the righteous, but to the half-hearted and the self-deluded such words would only come in a form of liabilities, doctrines and imposition. The intended outcome of freedom these ideals allude would then be reversed, bringing greater harm than good at the end of the day.
Whats there to be done? Just like the words of Jesus: "Listen, all who have ears".
So then, I will be pushing onwards onto a personal development that hopefully transmutes me to be a better person than yesterday. Integrating not only ideals, but also actions into a being that hopefully lives up to the way how life was meant to be. I will continue to update this space frequently with more deranged posts, with the same caution that it may contain ideas that may be uncomfortable to some. A nice break from the monotony of exams and politics, and from seeking affirmations.
All the best to the exams, and do look forward to christmas!
